5wks have come on gone quicker that I would have imagined. I would LOVE to say I have lost a ton of weight. But I can accept to be happy with the fact that Iv lost 18.5lbs so far. YEAH FOR ME!!!!!
What I haven't lost in weight Iv gained in knowledge, and being more aware of what my body needs and is telling me.
Am I actually hungry, or stressed or tired or just bored.? I mean how weird is it that I can drink 110 plus ounces of water a day and still be thirsty at night an when I wake up. (I'd probably not know I'm thirsty at night if I wasn't up peeing so much)
I am feeling lighter, less tired and positive about the next few weeks. I'm adding working out every other day and going back to work Monday. Just having something to do except think about how much I love cheesecake will be refreshing.
Iv decided to start to adding some of my lean and green recipes to future blogs so check it out.....
Friday, February 25, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Mourning........
Sometimes things happen in a life that make you stop and be quiet for awhile.......I am going to be silent and pray for the family of Daniel and their unfathomable loss instead of writing for the next 48 hrs.
I will return to blogging on Thursday evening
Daniel, may your family be comforted during this time. May you feel our arms reaching up to heaven to hold you and may you find safety and love with Jesus.
I will return to blogging on Thursday evening
Daniel, may your family be comforted during this time. May you feel our arms reaching up to heaven to hold you and may you find safety and love with Jesus.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Well slap me again next week, but harder
7 days down! I really am amazed at how "easy" this program is
Food choices are at your finger tips, there are both sweet and savory options and it really has made me more aware of the food I put in my mouth a well as the time I take to eat it. I'm becoming very aware of when I REALLY am hungry vs. just wanting to eat something because its either in front of me or I crave it.
As each day built I found myself almost having a euphoric experience. Sleeping soundly, happy and energetic. It seemed to build and build as the week went on. Last night I almost couldn't sleep because of the energy going through my body.
AND THEN IT HIT!!!! The realization that I was counting on this moment, just me and my scale alone in my bathroom. No one would know if I only lose 2lbs, I mean I could say 4lbs right.?
Id been anticipating my weigh in like a kid waits for Christmas morning.......would I get the bike I asked for or not?
I step on: I wait and finally the number shows: 243 lbs....YES!!!!!!!! We did it, we did it!!!!!
All of the water and all of the sticks of gum I chewed paid off. 9.5lbs lost in 1 week.
Now I'm not sure about you guys; but I'm an instant gratification girl.
I would not be happy with 2lbs a week.
I need it slapping me in the face letting me know that what I'm giving up is worth it.
Food choices are at your finger tips, there are both sweet and savory options and it really has made me more aware of the food I put in my mouth a well as the time I take to eat it. I'm becoming very aware of when I REALLY am hungry vs. just wanting to eat something because its either in front of me or I crave it.
As each day built I found myself almost having a euphoric experience. Sleeping soundly, happy and energetic. It seemed to build and build as the week went on. Last night I almost couldn't sleep because of the energy going through my body.
AND THEN IT HIT!!!! The realization that I was counting on this moment, just me and my scale alone in my bathroom. No one would know if I only lose 2lbs, I mean I could say 4lbs right.?
Id been anticipating my weigh in like a kid waits for Christmas morning.......would I get the bike I asked for or not?
I step on: I wait and finally the number shows: 243 lbs....YES!!!!!!!! We did it, we did it!!!!!
All of the water and all of the sticks of gum I chewed paid off. 9.5lbs lost in 1 week.
Now I'm not sure about you guys; but I'm an instant gratification girl.
I would not be happy with 2lbs a week.
I need it slapping me in the face letting me know that what I'm giving up is worth it.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Its ME VS. ME
As each day of this journey goes by, I realize more and more that Im my own worst enemy as well as my biggest supporter. The ultimate sacrifice and reward will be in the daily decisions I make.
Will I choose that really yummy piece of cheesecake savorying every bite for the 5 min it would take me to devour it, along with the 5hrs of self loathing that would follow. Or will I choose to simply nourish my body as needed to reach my goal weight?! This seems like a easy decision for someone to make.
If that someone wasnt me......
I need to remind myself that living in those type of moments is what has robbed me of the moments I really desire. Time with my kids outside playing. Camping and hiking. Even reaching out to old friends to connect. I dont want them to see me like this. My self worth has become wrapped up in what I see and not what others see. Yet in the past I continued to allow myself the momentary joy of food not really thinking about the things I was missing.
This is day 5 on TSFL, and I really feel different about it verses anything else Iv tried. My head is clear, my body is "talking" to me not so much by cravings but hunger. Its voice is becoming louder to me than the voice of desire that Iv heard in the past.
I just need to remind myself, that Im on my team and cheer myself on.
Will I choose that really yummy piece of cheesecake savorying every bite for the 5 min it would take me to devour it, along with the 5hrs of self loathing that would follow. Or will I choose to simply nourish my body as needed to reach my goal weight?! This seems like a easy decision for someone to make.
If that someone wasnt me......
I need to remind myself that living in those type of moments is what has robbed me of the moments I really desire. Time with my kids outside playing. Camping and hiking. Even reaching out to old friends to connect. I dont want them to see me like this. My self worth has become wrapped up in what I see and not what others see. Yet in the past I continued to allow myself the momentary joy of food not really thinking about the things I was missing.
This is day 5 on TSFL, and I really feel different about it verses anything else Iv tried. My head is clear, my body is "talking" to me not so much by cravings but hunger. Its voice is becoming louder to me than the voice of desire that Iv heard in the past.
I just need to remind myself, that Im on my team and cheer myself on.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Food for thought
Do you every think about food?? I mean really think about it? All of the positive things it offers our bodies, nutrition, energy even joy?!
Iv been thinking about food A LOT the past 4 days. The taste, the smell, the joy....but until tonight I really hadn't thought about the things that I NEED food for.
I have spent many years enjoying food, loving food, craving food. I'm not your typical fluffy girl, no sir. My love for food goes into EVERY area of my life.
I have only held jobs that were in the restaurant business for the past 24yrs. My husband is a pastry chef by trade, watching the Food Network is like foreplay for us.
We probably spend more hours in a month watching and re watching our favorite Food Network shows than having sex. (Like I said a BIG part of my life LOL)
As the past couple days have evolved Iv started thinking more about how to make food not such a presence in my life. I realized it really doesn't start with a new diet, or exercising till I puke or even filling every moment of everyday with things to do to keep my mind off food. It starts with me changing my thought process,a shift if you will. I need to think about things that food HAS and HASN'T gotten me.
HAS: Income, love, comfort, joy, memories, hips that hurt, ankles that crack, breath gone when climbing stairs and a really big ass
HASN'T: A shopping trip in a non "BIG" girl shop that I enjoyed, more than 10 pictures of myself taken in the last 12yrs, less stress, more money, a marathon picture, a summer in a swimsuit that I'm not embarrassed by, or a smaller ass
I guess when we think of food in those terms, I can see what I have aloud it to take from me. I'm going to print this as a reminder of what to think about and focus on when I have food filling my thoughts.
Iv been thinking about food A LOT the past 4 days. The taste, the smell, the joy....but until tonight I really hadn't thought about the things that I NEED food for.
I have spent many years enjoying food, loving food, craving food. I'm not your typical fluffy girl, no sir. My love for food goes into EVERY area of my life.
I have only held jobs that were in the restaurant business for the past 24yrs. My husband is a pastry chef by trade, watching the Food Network is like foreplay for us.
We probably spend more hours in a month watching and re watching our favorite Food Network shows than having sex. (Like I said a BIG part of my life LOL)
As the past couple days have evolved Iv started thinking more about how to make food not such a presence in my life. I realized it really doesn't start with a new diet, or exercising till I puke or even filling every moment of everyday with things to do to keep my mind off food. It starts with me changing my thought process,a shift if you will. I need to think about things that food HAS and HASN'T gotten me.
HAS: Income, love, comfort, joy, memories, hips that hurt, ankles that crack, breath gone when climbing stairs and a really big ass
HASN'T: A shopping trip in a non "BIG" girl shop that I enjoyed, more than 10 pictures of myself taken in the last 12yrs, less stress, more money, a marathon picture, a summer in a swimsuit that I'm not embarrassed by, or a smaller ass
I guess when we think of food in those terms, I can see what I have aloud it to take from me. I'm going to print this as a reminder of what to think about and focus on when I have food filling my thoughts.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
McDonalds French Fries are legal crack
Day three on TSFL; day one in the real world.
So I figure if I only go to the store and stay home all the time I will have absolutely no problem with temptation. That seems do able right??!!
After having a couple successful days I ventured out with my family. A little trip out and about. I made sure to eat before I went, brought my bars and my water and I was off.
The sun was out, I actually had to wear sunglasses in January in Seattle.
As small detour to get the kids a quick bite.
I'm not hungry so all is good.
I don't even go near the counter to order, Ill leave that to my husband (he is much stronger than me).
So we get our food and sit. As the bag opens and the first "crinkle" of the dbl cheeseburger paper hits my ears I can visually taste that burger. The bun is soft, the ketchup squishes out the sides. The tang of the ketchup and pickles make my lips dry with the thought. The kids open it up and I see cheese melted onto the paper and juicy beef drops little glistening drops of juice.
Looks good, but I ate before I came so I'm still feeling pretty strong.
Then it happened.
That big red box came out of the bag. They are crunchy, shiny, salty and steaming hot. Probably the best damn french fries they have ever served at McDonald's. I watch the first bite go in and the smell hits me like a smack up side the head. I'm actually drooling a little. This is so weird; I really cant believe I'm taking it this hard.
You want to say: "Just eat some and blow the scent into my mouth. I just need a little". One fry wouldn't hurt right?? What if I just got a kids meal, its smaller. We could split something.
Well; it had to be the longest 25min of my life. I drank a lot of water.
BUT I made it !! Not one fry eaten!!! Way to go for me!!!!
So I figure if I only go to the store and stay home all the time I will have absolutely no problem with temptation. That seems do able right??!!
After having a couple successful days I ventured out with my family. A little trip out and about. I made sure to eat before I went, brought my bars and my water and I was off.
The sun was out, I actually had to wear sunglasses in January in Seattle.
As small detour to get the kids a quick bite.
I'm not hungry so all is good.
I don't even go near the counter to order, Ill leave that to my husband (he is much stronger than me).
So we get our food and sit. As the bag opens and the first "crinkle" of the dbl cheeseburger paper hits my ears I can visually taste that burger. The bun is soft, the ketchup squishes out the sides. The tang of the ketchup and pickles make my lips dry with the thought. The kids open it up and I see cheese melted onto the paper and juicy beef drops little glistening drops of juice.
Looks good, but I ate before I came so I'm still feeling pretty strong.
Then it happened.
That big red box came out of the bag. They are crunchy, shiny, salty and steaming hot. Probably the best damn french fries they have ever served at McDonald's. I watch the first bite go in and the smell hits me like a smack up side the head. I'm actually drooling a little. This is so weird; I really cant believe I'm taking it this hard.
You want to say: "Just eat some and blow the scent into my mouth. I just need a little". One fry wouldn't hurt right?? What if I just got a kids meal, its smaller. We could split something.
Well; it had to be the longest 25min of my life. I drank a lot of water.
BUT I made it !! Not one fry eaten!!! Way to go for me!!!!
Friday, January 21, 2011
People dont leave diets beacause of the food...........
It is the end of day two on TSFL. A few things have come to a fore front in the last 48 hrs.
1. 100 ounces of water a day makes you pee A TON !!!!!
2. When you eat on a regular basis and manageable amounts; you realize when you are hungry or not
3. Sometimes hunger is mental not physical
4. Headaches SUCK, hungry or not.
5. I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!
One of the real positives I have going right now is that Im not working. I broke my ankle and have about 5 more weeks till I return. I think this is a blessing. Im not sure how successful Id be on planning some of my meals without this extra time. Being able to spend even 1hr to plan out my menu and grocery list has help start this process off positively.
I rolled with that positive vibe all day, looking at labels in the store, pre portioning and weighing out the meats for the week. As well as starting a recipe index for next month. Im documenting every lean and green meal in recipe form so when I got back to work I have a month of meals to pull from it and hopefully have a quick guide at the store.
For any self proclaimed "foodie" like myself, that lean and green meal is VERY important. Not only do I want to meet the goals of my TSFL program, but for me food is visual and often hits all the senses. This is the only "REAL" food of my day and I need it to be awesome.
My coach Shawn has been a great support connecting with both my husband and I a few times a day. I know its only day 2 but it reminds me of the saying " People don't leave a job because of money, they leave because they haven't made a real human connection with anyone at the company".
Same goes for diets; food is food. People don't leave a diet because of the food, (except for possibly the cabbage soup diet) they STAY WITH a diet because of the human connection they have made with someone who has lived it or is living it with you.
My husband and I are taking this journey together and so far we haven't killed each other LOL.
It is great to be able to pull from his strength and determination and be a support for him if he needs reminders to eat...
Day three should be a breeze!!!!
1. 100 ounces of water a day makes you pee A TON !!!!!
2. When you eat on a regular basis and manageable amounts; you realize when you are hungry or not
3. Sometimes hunger is mental not physical
4. Headaches SUCK, hungry or not.
5. I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!
One of the real positives I have going right now is that Im not working. I broke my ankle and have about 5 more weeks till I return. I think this is a blessing. Im not sure how successful Id be on planning some of my meals without this extra time. Being able to spend even 1hr to plan out my menu and grocery list has help start this process off positively.
I rolled with that positive vibe all day, looking at labels in the store, pre portioning and weighing out the meats for the week. As well as starting a recipe index for next month. Im documenting every lean and green meal in recipe form so when I got back to work I have a month of meals to pull from it and hopefully have a quick guide at the store.
For any self proclaimed "foodie" like myself, that lean and green meal is VERY important. Not only do I want to meet the goals of my TSFL program, but for me food is visual and often hits all the senses. This is the only "REAL" food of my day and I need it to be awesome.
My coach Shawn has been a great support connecting with both my husband and I a few times a day. I know its only day 2 but it reminds me of the saying " People don't leave a job because of money, they leave because they haven't made a real human connection with anyone at the company".
Same goes for diets; food is food. People don't leave a diet because of the food, (except for possibly the cabbage soup diet) they STAY WITH a diet because of the human connection they have made with someone who has lived it or is living it with you.
My husband and I are taking this journey together and so far we haven't killed each other LOL.
It is great to be able to pull from his strength and determination and be a support for him if he needs reminders to eat...
Day three should be a breeze!!!!
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